I'm not sure

I'm not sure what I'm going to write tonight. I just feel like I need to write something. I think my posts have been down lately. Or maybe the things that I've thought about posting have been down. I don't know that I've posted all of them. So I'm going to try to write something better.

I'm listening to Neil Gaiman, Amanda Fucking Palmer, and Kevin Smith right now. I'm jealous of the level of talent in my ears right now. That is likely what is making me want to write right now.

I read an article the other day. It was written by a friend of mine, her first article posted in her news paper's Sunday section, and my thought was, "What is this? How did she get this published?" I need to write something. Maybe I'll go through and clean up something old.

Maybe more to come...

Tonight

Just finished frosting cookies. And it's flurrying outside. And my boyfriend just went to his friend's house.

Guess who is playing Lego Harry Potter all night.

Depressed

My sister just bought a house and is having a baby in less than two months. And I'm in a relationship that I'm not sure I want to be a relationship anymore. It makes me sad.

In the mood

I'm in the mood to do something productive tonight. I fell like I should be clicking something. As if I should be quickly clicking through things. That's why I decided to write. Because now I'm clicking on my keyboard. Before I was clicking through stumble-upon and really not getting anywhere (other than the fact that I found a picture in a photo stream of Nazi's in the 1940's that looks strangely like one of my coworkers that is obsessed with war).

I feel like I have too much energy in me today. I shouldn't be sitting here. I should be out moving. I want to go on an adventure but I'm feeling held back.

Relationships are a pain. I could go do anything if it was just me. But I'm tied down. Funny, because I bitched about the opposite when I was single. And I'll probably bitch again if I'm single again.

Moving right along...

I wonder if...

Anyone will notice if I point out that Yahoo! Small Business is a racist bastard. Is it racist? Maybe just bigoted? Just politically incorrect? Either way, I'm suprised they haven't gotten in trouble for the option to "Exile" files to "Siberia."

Moving right along...

Today

I see patterns in my life. Patters that I can't stop from repeating.

Today's pattern is a desire to go to Ireland. To walk on the shore, visit the ruins, and squish my toes in the dirt. That last one seems truly Irish to me for some reason. Pink toes squishing in green grass and rich brown dirt. with a gray sky in the distance.

I long for Ireland in the fall. I don't know why. I've never been. When the weather turns cold and the leaves start to turn, it's all I can think about.

Sorry. Deleted.

I've created so many blogs with the intention of getting the thoughts in my head down on paper, albeit virtual paper. I've created them. And I've deleted them.

I've posted to Twitter and to Facebook, and when my "friends" and followers don't understand where I was going with it and comment random idiocracies I delete them.

That is where the name of this blog comes from. Sorry. Deleted.